Missy Diggs

Well, just when I was getting on a kick of updating every couple of weeks instead of once a quarter, I fell back into my old rhythms. And I’ll tell you why. Cause it’s been a hell of a month around here, that’s why.

I told you about the car crash, of course. Well, that has provided me with various and annoying inconveniences, such as Not Having a Car and Going to the Chiropractor Every Damn Day. I mean, I’m glad I wasn’t seriously hurt, and I’m seriously glad that neither the Vivid Girl nor the wedding cake were in the back of the car, but I’m still really irritated that there are people out there driving cars three times the size of mine without feeling the need to exercise at least three times the caution that I do. More would be better, cause honestly I’m not even that careful what with all the makeup application, phone calls, and passing snacks and drinks to the back seat though at least I do manage not to run right into people.

So anyway it was obvious that once I rested up a bit and stopped popping pain pills I had a bunch of stuff to do. Like deal with the insurance paperwork and go to the chiropractor and get a new car. But first I had to go to Houston to meet my new doctor and have a checkup and a treatment so I did that first. And, despite my determination to have the most. fun. cancer. ever. it wasn’t really that fun of a trip. For various reasons. My new doctor is good, though, and I finally found the secret of getting the right person to start my IV the first time so that I don’t have to listen to the chemo nurses moan about what bad veins I have while they stab with needles for 45 minutes in order to get me ready for a 15 minute treatment. But some of my paperwork didn’t get to the right place in time, and the chemo suite was running two hours late, and there were just generally some irritating aspects of the whole venture that made me feel that I would much rather be at home playing Bejeweled in my pajamas.

Which is exactly where I was for the following week, because even though my treatment wasn’t technically “chemo,” in that it’s a drug that is being used to prevent cancer rather than treat it, it still makes me sick. And even though the effects of chemo were somewhat predictable, the effects of this drug on me have been all over the place. Sometimes I get really sick with a fever and everything. Sometimes I get a weird rushing sound in my ears and my legs hurt for a couple of days. Twice in a row I had no apparent reaction whatsoever. This time I got depressed. And even though I have a personal rule against looking up health information on the Internet when I am depressed, I looked it up: depression is a known side effect of this treatment that occurs in 14% of patients studied. Why a bone medicine causes depression I do not know. Everything else about depression I know all too well. The kicker is that, even though my old rock star cancer doctor (from Italy, swoon!) thought that I need to take this medicine every three months, my new (stodgy, old, American) cancer doctor says that he will give it to me if I want it, but only every six months, and he doesn’t think I need it.

And both of these recommendations are based on the same study. Which apparently is the only one available. What’s a cancer patient to do?

Well, in this case, I guess I just need to plan ahead for the next treatment and make sure I’m in a cozy quiet low-stress place (Lake Tahoe, anyone?) with my iPhone charged and plenty of chocolate laid in. But that’s not what I did this time. This time I came home to where my husband and the Vivid Girl live, and I got up in the mornings, and I drove them around in Mr. B’s car. Cause of how I don’t have a car anymore. But the problem on at least two of the days was I got started driving them around but then I would start crying and falling apart, and Mr. B would have to leave work to take me home and then he would have to do all the driving around. On the third day I just stayed home and played Bejeweled and watched 30 Rock and got friends to come pick me up and drive me to the chiropractor. Much better.

So that week passed and then it was the next week and I still didn’t have a car. Because of how I still had to deal with the insurance paperwork and by that time it was also obvious that I should have gone to see a personal injury lawyer and also I was so irritated that I had decided to declare war on SUVs and if I can’t get rid of them through legal channels I guess I’ll have to turn to more unconventional methods and then also I was still spending all my time at the chiropractor.

But, and here I come to the point of the post, I realized that all my problems were not because of the car crash at all. They were because Mercury is in retrograde. Or, it was, at the time. And even though I don’t place a whole lot of stock in all that astrology stuff I do place a bit of stock in it and here’s why. For two years when I was in college every single guy I was ever attracted to was a Scorpio. I could walk into a party with 50 people, only one of whom was born in October or November and that’s the one I would end up talking to. Every single time. Now, a lot of people I love are Scorpios (my mom is a Scorpio! and the Vivid Girl!) but any astrology book will tell you that it is not a good love sign for me, a wet and weepy Cancer girl. And I still don’t know what to make of the fact that for two years I was really attracted to what could only be dangerous, but I was pretty damn convinced by the numbers. It just wasn’t statistically possible for all the guys I met during two of the most social and flirtatious years of my life to have the same horoscope unless astrology is true.

So even though I like to think of myself as a Scientist, I had to admit that I was overwhelmed by the evidence. Just as, since then, I have been completely overwhelmed by the evidence that when Mercury goes into retrograde life goes into chaos. Total communication breakdown. Complete inability to do paperwork. I can’t schedule a meeting, get a good cell phone connection, or have a civil conversation about money with my husband. (This may have something to do with the fact that my husband, as a Gemini, is ruled by Mercury. Or, who knows? it may not.)

So here it is, more than a month after my car crash, and I still don’t have a car. Or an insurance settlement. Or a blog post. Because of Mercury. Because it has been an inauspicious time, all around. But as we move out of the shadow of Mercury in retrograde I can feel the auspiciousness rising. My sources tell me that things should be all cleared by May 28. And a good thing, too, cause that’s when the Vivid Girl gets out of school. For the whole summer.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 18th, 2010 at 9:26 pm and is filed under Day to Day, Living With Cancer. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.